Anger Management Toolkit
Sometimes we need to just get the anger under control
Anger is normal
Let’s be clear about one thing straight away; it is normal to get angry. Anger can have a positive effect on your emotions. When you see something happening that is unjust or someone being ripped off or taken advantage of, most of us would feel angry, but it is a wave of anger you are in control anger. When we act, we are left feeling righteous about our actions and anger, experiencing positive feelings by promoting justice, respect, ethical behaviour and morality.
BUT...
When anger controls you, it is a different story. If you are quick to feel a fit of intense rage driven by frustration, inconvenience, or even annoyance (especially when others view the matter as trivial), maybe anger has taken control of you. You might even think or even believe that you are the victim, regarding your anger as a response to perceived injustices, dis-respect, or people deliberately trying to frustrate you, pick on you or criticise you.
There are other tell-tale signs that the anger is unhealthy; our relationships with other people both at home and at work are strained. You find yourself unable to let perceived slights or mistakes go unchallenged.
Ultimately, your quality of life, and that of other people around, begins to suffer.
Be assertive, not aggressive
Listing to some people, you might think that we should be assertive in every situation. I don’t think so; I think it is OK to get angry in the right circumstances, also it might be suitable to be submissive in other circumstances. For example, If I see a traffic warden booking me for incorrect parking, I don’t want to be aggressive or even assertive; if I am submissive, I might be let off. The point is that when we are aware of different options, we can choose. For many of us who struggle with anger, aggression becomes the default behaviour.
Look after your general health and wellbeing
Go for a walk, find some time to be by yourself, get regular exercise, eat healthy meals, and get good quality sleep. All these factors can help in reducing the frustrations that lead to harmful anger taking control.
Other health issues that anger contributes to include high blood pressure, raised cholesterol levels and gastrointestinal problems. One point that few people are aware of is that being angry, in the long term, can cause damage to our brains. The emotion of anger triggers an inflammatory response in the brain that damages the central nervous system at the level of neurons and glial cells. This might not mean much as it is, but if I add that this damage can lead to an increased risk of developing dementia – you might begin to take notice.
Look after your general health and wellbeing
Go for a walk, find some time to be by yourself, get regular exercise, eat healthy meals, and get good quality sleep. All these factors can help in reducing the frustrations that lead to harmful anger taking control.
Other health issues that anger contributes to include high blood pressure, raised cholesterol levels and gastrointestinal problems. One point that few people are aware of is that being angry, in the long term, can cause damage to our brains. The emotion of anger triggers an inflammatory response in the brain that damages the central nervous system at the level of neurons and glial cells. This might not mean much as it is, but if I add that this damage can lead to an increased risk of developing dementia – you might begin to take notice.
Next steps to manage anger
How to move forward and what happens for men who want to control anger and frustration
- Step 1: – Nothing happens until you get in touch with me. You can drop me a line on an email, use the contact form, or give me a call on 07792799017
- Step 2: – Take advantage of a free 30 mins taster session during which we will get to know each other, have a look at your expectations of counselling, see if we feel we can work together, and get an idea of how I will work with you. I will then suggest you go away and think about what was said before booking the next session. The reason for this is essential: I don’t want you to decide in a rush; when you enter counselling, you are making a significant commitment of both time and money
- Step 3:– We begin working together, in a safe space, where there is no judgement, helping you to understand what is going on and find ways of helping you connect with others that do not leave you feeling angry.